Social Life

Depression messes with our thoughts and can cause us to under-value the importance of friends and family in our lives. Remind yourself that your life is richer, and achieving good health is so much easier, when you stay connected to friends and family.

Watch Jonathan’s Tip Video: Tips on Staying Social.

Don’t assume that because you don’t feel like being social that other people don’t want to be around you. When we make plans with someone, we’re actually helping fill the other person’s social needs as well – that’s something we can feel good about.

If hanging out with friends or going to a social event seems too daunting, don’t worry.  Say hello to the clerk at your grocery store or your neighbour passing by. Though it may not seem like much, even brief interactions can help us feel connected to people in our lives.

It’s usually best if we can connect with someone in person, but if we don’t have the energy to do that, chatting with friends on the phone or online still counts.

If you have a friend or family member who wants to get together, ask them to make the plans. This way you can just focus on showing up, without the worry of planning anything.

Friendships aren’t just about sharing good times. We can confide in our friends about our concerns (you’ll find the other person will often feel honoured that you chose to confide in them). We can even invite their feedback. Speaking with a friend or family member about tough issues can be a great way of sorting them out and also bring us closer.

When we show interest and support in a friend’s life, they’re more likely to do the same for us.

Hanging out or socializing doesn’t have to have an objective or goal – beyond simply allowing us an opportunity to relax and enjoy ourselves. We can focus on the experience of just being with others without worrying about whether or not we are accomplishing anything.

Often, when we’re not feeling 100%, we feel like we’re not allowed to enjoy ourselves when we’re around others.  No one is telling you that you have to 

“play the sick role” – let yourself relax, play, have fun, and laugh. Don’t feel guilty about having fun or laughing.

Watch Aidan’s Tip Video: Social Life and Laughter.

It could be a coffee shop, a store you like to browse, a neighbourhood pub, or the gym – The point here is to put ourselves in places where we feel comfortable and thus more confident in striking up a conversation.

No matter what our interests are, there’s bound to be a group, an event, a team, or club with others who share those interests. Meetup groups are another good way to find people with similar interests in your area.

Volunteering is a great way to get us out of the house and do something meaningful and interesting in an environment where people appreciate even the smallest amount of our time.

If you have a hard time getting the ball rolling when you meet someone, think of possible conversation starters and follow-up questions in advance (sports, current events, music – depending on setting) to get a conversation going. An easy way to start a conversation is to ask someone what brought them to wherever you both are.

Not only will taking a dog for a walk help us get active, it’s a great way to meet other people.  Even if we don’t have a dog, we could ask a friend if we could take theirs for a walk.

Sometimes old friends can become new friends. If there are friends from your past that you enjoyed but have lost contact with, you can consider re-connecting with them. Social media can be helpful in reaching out to old friends.

If you use social media, take advantage of what social media is meant for: staying connected with your friends and family, and perhaps expanding your social circle.

Most people tend to post more about “good stuff,” making it seem like their lives are full of fun, excitement, and adventure, but these posts don’t necessarily reflect the realities of real, everyday life. Avoid getting sucked into thinking that everyone else’s lives are free of challenges and disappointments – it’s just not the case.

While social media can be useful, don’t let it be your only social outlet. Face-to-face interaction is the most important part of a man’s social life, so use social media to supplement it rather than replace it.