“HeadsUpGuys helped me understand my depression and be able to recognize potential symptoms in others.” – Age 27, Canada
It’s a fact – men experience depression. Depression affects millions of men every year, making it the leading cause of disability worldwide. It’s a serious health issue that can have severe consequences, especially when left untreated.
Depression is a thief
It's an illness that robs us of:
Depression is no less real than any other health issue, like diabetes or high blood pressure. It’s not in our heads and it doesn’t mean we are weak – it’s a very real illness that affects many aspects of our lives (mood, energy, strength, relationships, concentration, etc.) and is experienced by millions of people from all ages, backgrounds, and circumstances.
Depression can affect anyone, regardless of how strong or resilient we believe ourselves to be. That’s why it’s crucial to understand how to combat it and support others in doing the same.
Men account for 75-80% of deaths by suicide [1, 2, 3], with untreated depression being a leading factor.[4, 5] Yet, with the right supports and treatments in place, recovery from depression is not only possible, but achievable.
There are many misconceptions that make it difficult to recognize depression in men, and which stand in the way of men asking for the help they need and want.
Just as a broken bone can cause physical pain and limit our ability to move and function, depression can cause emotional pain and make it hard for us to engage in daily activities and fully enjoy life. Unfortunately, while no one would hesitate to seek help for a broken bone, many still hesitate to seek support for their mental health.
Click the boxes to see the reality that debunks common myths about depression.
MythDepression is a sign of weakness.
RealityDepression is a real illness that can affect anyone – It has nothing to do with being tough.
Myth‘Real men’ never feel sad or share their emotions.
RealitySadness is an emotion all humans feel, including men. Even the toughest men feel sad or down. It takes strength to acknowledge and share.
MythA guy with enough willpower should be able to 'snap out of it.'
RealityYou can’t fix a broken arm with sheer willpower. The same is true for depression - getting better requires developing new skills to beat it.
MythMen should not ask for help; they should be able to cope on their own.
RealityTrue strength lies in knowing when to ask for help. Building your team to tackle depression means you're taking control of your health.
These myths can feel like handcuffs, preventing men from reaching out for support until their depression becomes very severe, if at all.
Additional barriers that often prevent men from getting the support they deserve include:
Depression can really mess with our thoughts, and it can interfere with our ability to experience positive emotions and hope.
“I knew something was off with my stress and mood, but I couldn’t sort it out. I wish I had known I was dealing with depression sooner. I waited to hit rock bottom before reaching out. I hope other guys don’t make the same mistakes.” – Age 28, Canada
The symptoms listed below can be part of life’s normal ebbs and flows and don’t always signal depression. However, the more symptoms someone experiences, the worse those symptoms are, and the longer they last (over two weeks), the more likely it is that they are dealing with depression.
Depression impacts every part of our lives, often creating a cycle that perpetuates and worsens symptoms. Recognizing depression early is crucial to preventing or stopping it from controlling our lives.
Persistent Sadness and Depressed Mood
Feelings of deep emptiness, sadness, or numbness. These persistent negative moods overshadow moments of joy and can feel unrelenting.
Decreased Interest or Pleasure
Loss of interest in activities that once brought us happiness, like hanging out with friends, going for a jog, or participating in a favourite hobby.
Significant Weight Change or Change in Appetite
Decreases or increases in appetite, as food either loses all appeal or becomes a way to distract or cope with difficult emotions.
Changes in Sleep
Worsening or continued issues with sleep; from sleeping too much, to sleeping too little, to not feeling as rested and restored after waking up.
Fatigue or Loss of Energy
Feeling low on energy, even when we haven’t exerted ourselves. This fatigue isn’t alleviated by rest or sleep.
Changes in Activity
Feeling as if everything (speech, thinking, moving) is slowed, or the opposite, feeling very agitated and almost jumpy (tough to sit still, pacing, and hand-wringing).
Worthlessness, Hopelessness, Helplessness, or Excessive Guilt
Feeling strong and unjustified hopelessness or guilt, like thinking that recovery is impossible or that we are undeserving of love, affection, or success.
Difficulty Concentrating
Trouble concentrating on tasks, organizing thoughts, or making decisions.
Thoughts of Suicide
From fantasizing about escaping from life and ending our pain to having a specific plan to take our lives — any suicidal thoughts are a signal that we need to reach out for support.
Take our Depression Check to get a better sense of how these most common symptoms may be impacting your life.
Research has found that some men also experience other symptoms that can mask the more common or traditional symptoms of depression described above. These early-onset symptoms, which often go unnoticed and unaddressed, are known as ‘male-type’ depression symptoms and include: [6]
Reckless Behaviour and Substance Use
“For a short time, substances buried my problems. And then they got worse. So much worse.” – Trevor’s Story
Engaging in escapist, numbing, or risky behaviour, often in an attempt to feel something, or nothing, or because they no longer care about their safety. This can include:
Anger, Irritability, and Aggression
“I was finding things to get angry at just because it felt good to be angry and that wasn’t working.” – Michael’s Story
Feeling irritable, becoming more sensitive to criticism, or losing our sense of humour. This can include:
Men are more likely to reveal their underlying depression in this way, in comparison to crying or talking about the sadness that they feel.
Our course on Managing Anger and Irritability can guide men through better understanding and managing these intense emotions.
Physical Pain
“…my emotional state reached such a low point that my entire body was in physical pain.”- Dustin’s Story
Since the mind and body are closely connected, depression can also manifest as physical symptoms (which may not respond to usual treatments). This can include:
Low Libido or Erectile Dysfunction
“… difficulty finding motivation to do anything, a decreased sex drive, and engaging in a variety of negative behaviours that were harmful to myself.” – Matt’s Story
Difficulties with sex drive and performance can include:
The dual emotional and physical nature of these symptoms can be a strong indicator that one might be depressed.
Escapism and Avoidance
“I spent a few months by myself, working a manual labor job for 12-14 hours per day, coming home to eat, and going to the gym for another hour or two – all so that I could avoid having to face myself and my feelings.” – Jake’s Story
Behaviours can include:
Escapism is often linked to substance abuse and can mask the usual signs of depression, making it harder for both individuals and healthcare professionals to recognize.
Withdrawal and Isolation
“I had isolated myself from society…Waking up every day felt like a burden, and I struggled to find any reason to keep going.” – Jordan’s Story
This behaviour involves distancing from friends and family, often due to shame, embarrassment, or a desire to avoid burdening others. This can include:
Social isolation is a serious issue because it makes it harder for others to notice how someone is doing. It also means less social interaction and connection, along with fewer opportunities to reach out and receive support.
Try our Men’s Depression Risk Scale to see how these more specific male symptoms may be impacting your life.
Note that signs and symptoms of depression can also overlap with signs and symptoms of anxiety in men, which can likewise significantly interfere with a man’s daily life and well-being.
Depression affects everyone differently, and symptoms can vary greatly from one person to another. For example, one guy might be chronically suffering from depression but still maintain his day-to-day responsibilities (often informally known as high-functioning depression), while another may lack the energy to get out of bed.
Symptoms can also change over time, with regard to intensity, duration, and even the types of symptoms a person can experience.
“It took hitting complete rock bottom and daily thoughts of suicide for me to acknowledge that the way I was living was not bearable if I ever wanted a future.” – Burke’s Story
Fortunately, more men, including athletes, celebrities, and musicians, are speaking out about their battles with mental health issues and depression, helping to break the stigma. The myths around men’s mental health are fading, making it easier for guys to discuss and tackle depression.
Know that recovery is possible, even in the darkest times. We’ve collected over 100 real stories from men that prove recovery is achievable.
I’m just realizing I’ve been fighting depression for most of my life and I didn’t even know it. Now I can take the steps needed to get better.”- Age 35, Canada
Recognizing depression isn’t admitting defeat; it’s about understanding the issue and taking control of one’s life and happiness.
Whether we’re recognizing the signs of depression in ourselves, or a friend or family member, it’s time to take action.
References:
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