Sex and Relationships

If you’re feeling low or distant and don’t communicate how you’re feeling, your partner won’t understand what you’re going through. Muster the strength to sit down with your partner and have a serious talk about how you’re feeling. It can be tough, but that open dialogue about depression is essential for your relationship and will actually help bring you closer together.

Sometimes depression can makes things seem worse than they actually are.  If you feel like something isn’t quite right in your relationship, check in with your partner to see how things are going from their perspective.

When you’re depressed, putting thoughts into words can be hard.  In this case, use actions to show your affection. Simple things like holding hands, hugging, or a gentle caress on the back are helpful ways to let your partner know that you care for them. Not only do these kinds of actions improve the bond with your partner, they also release brain chemicals that help improve your mood.

Another way to show your partner that you’re there for them is to help out around the house. Doing your part to help with the dishes, laundry, or preparing a meal cuts down time for chores and gives more time for the two of you to do things together.

Spontaneity can keep a relationship fresh, but when you’re depressed, being spontaneous can be a challenge. In this case, plan for fun (like going out for dinner or a movie) rather than waiting around for it to just happen. This way, you have something to look forward to – enjoying quality time with your partner.

When you’re depressed, it’s common to retreat inward.  This can leave your partner feeling left out and ignored.  Even if you don’t feel like talking much, offering the occasional compliment to your partner doesn’t take much effort but can go a long way to letting her or him know that they still matter to you.

A big part of feeling connected to your partner is being able to share – including sharing conversation.  Make yourself available to your partner to share in conversation, even if it’s about mundane day-to-day things.  We all appreciate a good listener, so even if you don’t want to talk much, be attentive to what your partner is saying.

Depression can be accompanied by different sex-related issues (loss of sexual desire, loss of ability to achieve an erection or an orgasm).  It’s important to keep your partner tuned into things that are making sex difficult for you. Otherwise, you risk having your partner feel that you’ve lost interest in her or him.

Touching your partner in an affectionate manner can go a long way in alleviating any tension you might be feeling and can help put you and your partner in the mood for sex. Physical touch is really important for both of you.

Intimate sex is much more than intercourse.  Kisses, hugs, and intimate talk are all a part of good sex.

You need to be in the right frame of mind for enjoyable sex – go out for dinner, go for a walk, or simply spend some downtime at home with your partner. These activities help you and your partner feel relaxed and connected. When you get down to business, don’t spend your time worrying about performance – just enjoy being in the moment.

Very few people have the dazzling sex lives that Hollywood films portray. Enjoy and accept each other as you are.  It frees you from unrealistic expectations that can make a mess of lovemaking.

One of the many known benefits of exercise is increased sex drive. Exercise can help you feel healthier, more confident, and perform better.

Visit places where you feel comfortable; it could be a community centre, neighbourhood pub, or coffee shop. The point is to get out of the house and into places where you have the possibility of meeting people. Act on invitations when you get them, even if you might feel slightly out of your comfort zone.

This is a great way to connect, especially if you are uncomfortable meeting people in social settings. The nature of online dating can also open you up to rejection as not all your messages will be returned. Remember this not a reflection of your true worth and what you have to offer.

An easy way to start a conversation is to ask someone what brought them to wherever you both are. You might not know anything about the person, and they might not know anything about you, but what you already have in common is being at the same place. Be curious about the person and try to find out a bit more about them and what brought them there.

Depression can eat away at a guy’s self-esteem, but it’s important to remember that depression is not who you are.  Rather, it’s a health condition (like high blood pressure, for example) and it doesn’t make you any less worthy and interesting than the next guy.  There are people out there that want to get to know you.

Watch Rich’s Tip Video: Starting a Relationship.

Opening yourself up is necessary to build a meaningful relationship. It can be a little scary to put yourself out there and risk having things not work out. It can take time to find the right fit, but the effort is worth the reward.

It’s often best to not bring up significant personal issues on the first date. Instead, allow your relationship to progress naturally and then let the person know once you start to get to know each other on a deeper level. When you do decide to talk about it, be thoughtful in how you present it. Let the other person know that it is something that you deal with and manage just like any other illness.