Chris' Story
Chris shares his story of coming to terms with his depression instead of ignoring it, and finding freedom through motorcycling.
"I was forced to confront my own thoughts, my own fears, and my own demons. As scary as that sounds, it was the first time in my life I felt truly alive."
About Chris:
I’m a 53-year-old husband and father of 5. I am a Red Seal Journeyman carpenter, and an avid outdoor and motorcycle enthusiast.
WHAT WAS THE MAJOR TURNING POINT IN YOUR RECOVERY FROM DEPRESSION?
I used to think that depression was something that only happened to other people. That it was something that you could just shake off, if you tried hard enough. At first I tried to ignore it. I told myself I was just feeling a little down and then it would pass, and I did a pretty good job of hiding it. Those who know me would have never guessed I was as down as I was.
However, as time went on I couldn’t shake the feeling of hopelessness and despair. I lost interest in the things I used to love and I was becoming ever more distant from those who loved me. I found it increasingly hard to have the energy to do anything.
My major turning point came in June of 2022 while on a motorcycle trip. I was forced to seek refuge from an atmospheric event in a small 10’x12’ cabin. I spent the next three days-two nights alone with nothing but my own thoughts. It was then that I realized just how depressed I was and just how long I had been suffering.
It was the first time in my life that I felt truly alone. I was forced to confront my own thoughts, my own fears, and my own demons. As scary as that sounds, it was also the first time in my life that I felt truly alive. I realized that I had the power to change my life and that gave me the courage to face my fears and work towards a better future.
I had come to realize that I was living my life in a state of robotic autonomy. Get up. Go to work. Go home. Sleep. Repeat. I’d been letting my past experiences and my personal losses dictate my present and future, constantly chasing the American dream that had been drilled into my head as a child. Be a good provider, be successful, have money, own a home, have a wife, children, a dog. You know the one. It may sound cliche to say that I found salvation on the back of a motorcycle, but it’s true. On my motorcycle, I’m in control. I can make my own path and it feels exhilarating.
I’m starting to understand my depression and social anxiety are not things that I can control, but rather ones that I can manage. I’ve come to realize that life is a precious gift and that it’s worth living. There will always be challenges and setbacks, but there is also beauty and joy to be found. I’m relearning to appreciate the small things and to find happiness in the present moment. I know that won’t be easy and that there will be days when it feels like it’s never going to get better, but I also know that there is hope and that there are people who care.
WHAT ARE SOME THINGS THAT REALLY HELPED?
- Riding my motorcycle has always helped
- Talking about my state of mind with friends
- Taking the time to really look inside and reflect
- Seeking out medical advice
WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO OTHER GUYS FIGHTING DEPRESSION?
The first thing I would tell them is that they are not alone! I would then suggest that they share what they’re going through with friends and family. I would also direct them to helpful resources, and I would listen to what they have to say.
See Chris’ Video Story for more about his experiences with depression.
– Chris, Nanaimo, BC, Canada 
