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“The moment that you feel, just possibly, you are walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind, and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself...That is the moment, you might be starting to get it right.” - Neil Gaiman

About Sam:

Sam is a recent business school graduate, from Vancouver, BC, currently existing at Western University. Find out more about Sam (and read his blog) at johnsamuelgray.com.

What was the major turning point in your recovery from depression?

When I called my boss from my summer job to tell him I didn’t want to come back and work full-time. Being pressured to follow the norm of my friends at business school made this call seem impossible.

And then I just called him, and it went fine. I was finally free.

What are some things that really helped?

Giving myself time

  • As a young person in business school, I was trained to believe time is scarce, which put tons of pressure on me to “figure out what I want to do.”
  • Once I allowed myself to put off answering this question for some time, my depression started to go away, and what I wanted to do became very obvious.

Sleeping more

  • My way of hiding pain, from feeling like I didn’t fit in at business school, was to avoid sleep. Not sleeping made it difficult to be aware I was depressed at all. I was living in a haze. 
  • I wanted to start writing, but not sleeping denied me the energy I needed to get my school work done, let alone start something new. 

Quitting Marijuana

  • Similar to sleeping more, once I stopped consuming marijuana, I found myself with a lot more time and energy to make positive changes in my life.
  • Removing this outlet of hiding my pain forced me to figure how to deal with it. 

Reconnecting with friends

  • Without realizing it, depression drew me away from friends and I socially isolated myself. Being an extrovert, this was yet another thing that denied me of the energy I needed to break out of the hole I was in.

What advice would you give to other guys fighting depression?

  • Normal is not dragging yourself out of bed – if you are, something’s up.
  • Absolutely everything in your life can be changed (Google ‘growth mindset’). Depression will try to convince you there are exceptions.

“Life is always happening for you, not to you.” – Tony Robbins

 

Sam Gray, recent business school graduate and self-development blogger based out of London, Ontario/Vancouver, BC, Canada.    

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