The Gym Saved My Life: Joe’s Mental Health Journey
Joe shares how the routine and discipline of going to the gym has improved his mental health, outlook, and sense of control.
"For those 90 minutes, I have peace. I have control."
About Joe:
Joe has been working in men’s health for the past decade, nine years of which was spent as the Program Manager for the Canadian Men’s Health Foundation. He regularly volunteers with HeadsUpGuys and has contributed to many of our campaigns, events, and resources over the years.
I Can Credit the Gym for Saving My Life
I’ve been going to the gym for 20 years, and I can honestly say it saved my life. That’s a big claim—read on.
This isn’t another blog filled with statistics about the health benefits of exercise. I know the numbers, and while I appreciate those perks, my journey with the gym wasn’t about losing fat or improving my heart rate. It started as a way to build my self-esteem. Little did I know, it would become my lifeline.
A Little Background
I’ve struggled with my mental health for as long as I can remember. To be blunt, I was the skinny, slightly effeminate gay kid, raised in a religion that told me I was going to Hell. I was inept at sports due to vision issues and partied too much to escape the pressures of being a teenager—a pattern that continued into my 20s.
My foundation for self-esteem was virtually non-existent. My first attempt at fixing that was lifting weights in high school, but nasty teen peer pressure crushed my confidence. The one sport I was good at was long-distance running. I ran 3–4 times a week, and while I experienced the famed “runner’s high”, what I loved most was how running shut off my brain. For that 10K, I wasn’t overthinking or ruminating. Unfortunately, by age 30, my knees were shot, and running was no longer an option.
The Turning Point
My 30s were rough. The lows lasted longer, and the highs were fleeting. By my early 40s, my long-term relationship had ended (badly), and my career was in shambles. Life was delivering blows from every angle.
That’s when I gave the gym another shot—but this time with serious intent. I was newly single and wanted to get in shape for the first time in my life. Skinny, chicken-legged Joe was going to evolve. What I didn’t realize was that the gym would become my sanctuary.
The Power of Control
I’m now 60, and looking back, I see that the gym saved my life because it gave me one thing: control.
For 90 minutes, five days a week, I control what I work on—what body part, how many sets, how many reps, how long on the bike or treadmill. When people talk about the mental health benefits of lifting weights, they often mention endorphins and social connections. Those are great, but for me, the most important mental health benefit is control.
Lifting became my new running. For those 90 minutes, my mind isn’t spiraling. There are no outside influences—just me and the weights. That’s why I have a strict no-phone rule. The phone is a distraction—it invites the outside world in, shattering that sense of control. I’m old-school and listen to my music on an MP3 player. Trust me, ditch the phone. Use those 90 minutes to disconnect and focus your mind elsewhere.
I’m not alone in this. In gym conversations, when I mention that my primary motivation is mental health, nearly every guy nods in agreement. I’ve even said out loud to other guys in the gym that lifting weights saved my life, and others have echoed the sentiment.
If I didn’t have that one thing in my life I could control, I doubt I’d be writing this blog.
The Bigger Impact
Yes, my self-esteem has improved—it only took me 53 years to say, “I love myself”. I have better discipline. I eat healthier. I drink less. I finally went to therapy. I have a better grip on life’s ebbs and flows. On bad days, I know that dragging myself to the gym will make me feel better.
My mental health still fluctuates. My career has ups and downs. I’ve begun losing friends and family (welcome to ageing). My finances look like a wonky stock market graph (retirement—yeah, right). COVID, ageism—life keeps throwing punches. But the gym stops the loop of negativity. For those 90 minutes, I have peace. I have control. It’s my personal prescription. And that’s enough.
Find Your Sanctuary
The gym may not be for everyone, but if you’re struggling, find something—anything—you can do for an hour or two, three to five times a week. Something positive. Something that forces you to focus, even when your mind says it can’t take another challenge.
You’ve got this. You can do it. And one final recommendation and say it out loud: “I love myself”.
– Joe R., Vancouver, B.C., Canada