No one wants to hang out with me.
CHALLENGE AND REPLACE YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
The purpose of this step is to develop a more realistic and helpful thinking style in order to improve the way we feel.
The purpose of this step is to develop a more realistic and helpful thinking style in order to improve the way we feel.
Using evidence to develop more realistic thoughts
Being my own thought detective helps me feel more in control of my mind, which I find really empowering.” James, age 42
The last step of Cognitive Restructuring is to challenge the reality of our negative thoughts and replace them with new and more balanced thoughts.
There are different techniques that can be used to go about gathering and weighing evidence for and against negative thinking patterns. We will cover two techniques:
Trying either of these strategies can help us evaluate our thoughts more objectively and come up with more realistic and adaptive perspectives.
This technique involves gathering evidence for and against the accuracy of our thoughts, much like in a court case. By gathering evidence both for and against the thought, we are able to assess whether the thought is realistic or helpful. This can help expose cognitive distortions that underlie depression.
As in a court case, we gather evidence that backs up the thought (evidence for) and evidence that disproves the thought (evidence against). Like in a court of law, stick to the facts and not our own opinions or feelings.
Putting thoughts on trial involves the following:
No one wants to hang out with me.
Socrates was a Greek philosopher who emphasized the importance of questioning as a way to explore complex ideas and uncover assumptions. This philosophy has been adopted as a way to challenge cognitive distortions.
Once a cognitive distortion has been identified, we assess it by asking a series of questions. Take some time to reflect on the answers for each question, as the value of Socratic questioning comes from putting some thought behind each answer.
Here are some examples of Socratic questions to ask yourself regarding negative thoughts:
Finally, think about the evidence for and against your negative thoughts, coming up with a more balanced and realistic interpretation of the situation.
It may be helpful to get feedback from a friend or a therapist to help come up with new more realistic thoughts.
To continue with our example from Steps 1, 2 and 3, we now record the evidence for and against our automatic negative thought, and a more realistic and adaptive thought to replace it using our Worksheet, your notes, or the form below. (Print/save responses to your device at each step. Our website does not record personal information you enter here.)
This afternoon, I texted three friends to see if they wanted to get together after work. Everyone’s busy, so I’m spending an evening alone with no plans.
No one wants to hang out with me.
I’m not interesting enough for people to care about me.
Sad, lonely, angry
Stayed home all evening and did nothing.
Just sat around ruminating about not being good enough and all the ways I’ve screwed up in the past.
Evidence for:
Evidence against:
Alternate thoughts:
For your own example, you can add “Alternate Thoughts” What is the evidence that it could be true? What about evidence against it? What might be an alternate thought that is more appropriate and helpful?
Once you’ve written out your Alternate Thoughts in your notes or above, let’s move on to the Wrap Up.