Not all guys dealing with depression are going to have these thoughts, but it does put them at higher risk for it.
Struggling with thoughts of suicide and impulses to act on them has little to do with the strength of a man’s character or him being selfish, and much more to do with how severe his depression has become.
Any reference to suicide or death should be taken very seriously. Whether he says things like “I wish I was dead,” or seems preoccupied with death and wanting to escape from life, there may be reason for concern.
Expressions of having no hope for the future, feeling trapped, or self-loathing may be indicators of suicidal thinking. A guy might say something like “there’s nothing left for me” or “what’s the point?”.
If you notice a guy you’re concerned about seeking out access to guns, pills, knives, ropes, or other things that could potentially be used in a suicide attempt, you need to voice your concerns. If a man already has these objects around him, discuss if you can temporarily move them elsewhere while he’s fighting depression.
Starting a conversation
If you suspect that a guy in your life may be thinking about suicide, you need to voice your concerns. This can be a challenging talk to have; one that requires courage. Many people falsely presume that discussing suicide will make things worse – this couldn’t be further from the truth. If you are concerned, speak up – it could save someone’s life.
When a person is having suicidal thoughts they are in a tremendous amount of pain. He may turn to alcohol or other substances to numb his pain, but these substances can make depression worse and dangerously lower his ability to fight suicidal thoughts. As much as might be possible, try to limit his access to alcohol or other substances if he is struggling with thoughts of suicide.
Provide ongoing support
After starting a conversation around suicide, it’s important to monitor the situation and take further steps, if necessary. Remember to be proactive – don’t wait until there is a crisis to reach out. Below, we offer some tips to help provide ongoing support to a guy who might be struggling with thoughts of suicide.
If he hasn’t already, encourage him to consult a professional. You may want to offer making appointments for him or providing transportation to appointments. If you don’t know which services to suggest, call a health line to learn about options and services in your area.
With his permission, remove potentially dangerous objects (e.g., weapons) from his living area. This may even include medications – talk to him about holding onto them or keeping them someplace out of the way.
In case of a crisis, come up with a plan for what he will do – who he can call, which health-lines should be contacted, and where the nearest hospital is. Create a list of contacts that includes friends, family, and professionals for him to contact if he ever needs to. Make sure he is on board with the plan and understands it.