Romance And Affection

Building Relationship Skills > 3. Romance and Affection

Showing Love, Intimacy, and Care

There are many different ways of showing affection and being romantic. Small acts can go a long way.

Showing affection and being romantic isn't all about grand gestures – it's about having fun and making your partner feel loved.

“Learning how to express myself better helped my partner to really experience the love that I already felt.” – Alex, 28

For some guys, showing our softer side might feel a bit out of our comfort zone, but it can be a game-changer. 

Romantic gestures and affectionate actions contribute to the overall intimacy in a relationship. They help partners feel closer physically and emotionally, prevent the relationship from becoming stagnant, offer reassurance of love and commitment, and allow each person to feel valued and appreciated.

Let’s dive into how we can sweep our partners off their feet and make our relationships even happier.

It’s important to note that expressing affection and being romantic in a relationship are not limited to gender roles; both partners should contribute to creating a loving and affectionate environment. Communication is key, and understanding each other’s preferences and comfort levels is essential for ensuring that romantic/affectionate gestures are appreciated and reciprocated.

Thoughtful Gestures

It’s the little things that count. Simple acts of thoughtfulness can light up your partner’s day. 

Surprises

  • Leave a heartfelt note on the bathroom mirror, plan a surprise date night (if that is something that your partner is comfortable with), or surprise them in the evening with their favourite meal.

Gifts

  • Give thoughtful gifts that show you know your partner and are listening to them. Gifts don’t have to be expensive (or even cost anything) to have an impact. 

Random Acts of Kindness

  • Think about what your partner might need or want, and make it happen. It could be as simple as doing the dishes, helping with chores, or taking care of something they usually handle.

Make Use of Technology 

Depending on your partner’s preference, sending a quick message or funny meme can show your partner that you’re thinking about them throughout the day. It can also help to build up some anticipation for when you see each other next. 

For example:

  • Send a sweet text message, without needing a specific reason like a birthday or anniversary. 
  • Share funny or cute memes that remind you of each other or something you did recently. 
  • Post or share photos or videos of you together on your social media (this let’s your partner know that they are an important part of your life, that you want to share with others).
  • Set up a shared online playlist with your favourite songs.
  • Create a private online photo album to store special memories.
  • Set reminders for important dates and anniversaries.

Quality Time

Dates aren’t just for the early stages of a relationship when you’re trying to impress someone – they are important throughout the relationship to maintain a spark. 

Being more intentional about spending time together and how that time is spent can help bring you and your partner together.

Unplug and Connect 

  • Put away the screens and gadgets. Spend real, distraction-free time together – talking, laughing, or doing something you both enjoy.

Plan Adventures

  • Take your partner on a fun outing or a new experience. It could be hiking, cooking together, trying a new cafe, or even just exploring your neighborhood.

Date Nights 

  • Regular date nights are a must. It doesn’t have to be fancy or out of your comfort zone.

Get Physical (In a Heartfelt Way)

Physical touch can be a major game-changer in showing affection. Affectionate behaviours, such as cuddling, holding hands, and physical touch, release oxytocin and reduce stress levels. This can create a sense of comfort and calm within the relationship.

Here’s how to up your cuddle game:

Hug It Out 

  • Give sincere hugs. It’s like a mini love boost that shows you’re there for your partner. For example, if you live together, you can try adding in a hug every morning before you both leave for work.

Hand Holding

  • Holding hands is a classic move for a reason – it’s a simple yet powerful way to show affection while going about your daily errands together.

Cuddle Up

  • Make time for cuddles. Whether it’s while watching TV or before bedtime, snuggling up brings you closer.

Speak from the Heart

Expressing your feelings might feel a bit intimidating, especially since men are often taught from a young age not to share or show their feelings from such a young age. Ironically, though, this is often what partners want more of. It will feel more and more natural the more that you practice. Use these tips to open up:

Compliments

  • Give genuine compliments. Let your partner know that you love and appreciate them. Try to be specific.
    • For example, saying “you’re so smart” isn’t as impactful as saying “I love how passionate you get about gardening. How you keep track of all these plants and when to grow what, is really impressive.”
    • The same way saying “You look good ” isn’t as romantic as saying “The way you did your hair tonight looks beautiful.” 

Share Your Day

  • Talk about your day, your thoughts, and your emotions. It helps you connect on a deeper level.

Tell ‘Em You Love ‘Em

  • Say those three magic words – “I love you.” It’s a simple yet incredibly powerful way to show your affection. 

If you’re unsure how best to show your affection, try looking for ideas or signs from other things your partner is doing. Is there anything romantic you can use as an idea from a book, movie, or song they like?

Lastly, know that it’s okay to ask if you’re not sure about your partner’s preferred love language. You can say something like “I want to start doing more romantic gestures for you, but I’m not sure what you would appreciate most. Do you like flowers, or a quick message during the day to remind you of how important you are in my life, or is there something else you would like?”

The most important thing to understand is how your partner prefers to receive affection, because everyone is different. Most people enjoy all of these methods occasionally, but starting a conversation about what your partner’s love language is will guide you in the best direction. 

Remember, showing affection and being romantic isn’t all about grand gestures – it’s about having fun and making your partner feel loved and cherished through consistent efforts.

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