Carl's Story
Carl shares his journey as a stroke survivor and how he has managed to find new sources of strength and resilience in the face of despair.
"MY NEW MANTRA IS TO NOT LET THE STROKE DEFINE ME BUT REFINE ME"
About Carl
I’m Carl Davies, a 56-year-old expatriate French teacher from the UK who has lived in the UAE since 2003.
What was the major turning point in your recovery from having a stroke?
Having recovered well in hospital, I felt ok as I was discharged but while home alone, it hit me. I felt bereft, utterly bereft. I was grieving the old me. I was angry. Why me? I felt I was a burden to my loved ones. But then I had an epiphany. I’m literally not dead, “perfectly imperfect”, as my wife would say.
Time to start to love and embrace the new me and use my stroke experience as a force for good and change. To this end, I’m now an advocate for men’s wellbeing and would like to offer some form of coaching / mentoring in Abu Dhabi.
What are some things that really helped?
- I journaled from early on in my recovery. Not to log physical progress but more for my emotional progress. Just writing down how I felt each day was immensely cathartic.
- Traumatic brain injuries lead to heightened emotions, although I’ve always been a heart-on-sleeve guy. So, talking to my wife and close friends, tears and all, offered the occasional release.
- Changing the narrative from stroke victim to stroke survivor. I had survived a massive brain bleed. Some parts of me were not working but these were temporary imperfections.
- My new mantra is to not let the stroke define me but refine me.
What advice would you give to other stroke survivors?
- If you are a stroke survivor, recovery is slow, and sometimes you just have to work hard on it and, as I did, take the small wins when they come.
- For any blokes not in a great headspace right now, small wins are just as important. Can you go to bed tonight feeling 1% better than you did 24 hours previously? What good things happened today?
- Look around at what you have. Life may be throwing you a curveball right now but are you loved? Wife? Kids ? Mates? The odds are you are loved and they probably love you unconditionally.
- Self care, self love is essential. Do something for you every day. Take a walk in nature, treat yourself to a nice dinner. Go for a good massage. Indulge yourself. You have earned it.
Carl’s book, Stroke Me! My Road To Recovery, is available on Amazon.
– Carl Davies, Abu Dhabi, UAE
@strokeme_1969 
| Carl Davies 