Recognizing Signs of Distress in Another Person
Recognizing when someone is in distress is the first step toward offering meaningful support.
Recognizing when someone is in distress is the first step toward offering meaningful support.
Recognizing distress is a starting point, not a solution, but it’s a crucial entry point for any kind of support
While every person is different, there are often noticeable changes in behaviour, mood, or appearance which can signal that someone is struggling with their mental health. You don’t need to be an expert to notice these signs. Just being observant, compassionate, and willing to check in can make a real difference.
Many individuals, especially men, may not feel comfortable talking about their emotions or admitting they’re having a hard time. They may:
As a result, they may not speak up until things become overwhelming. That’s why your ability to spot signs of distress can make a powerful difference. You may notice things they’re not ready or able to say.
When you notice that someone’s not quite themselves, and you choose to gently check in, it sends a powerful message: “You matter. I see you. I care.”
This kind of presence can break through isolation, reduce shame, and help someone feel safe enough to talk. Sometimes, just knowing someone is paying attention is enough to shift their outlook or give them the strength to reach out for more help.
Being able to spot signs of distress is critical because it opens the door to support, compassion, and eventually healing. Without this awareness, people in need often continue to suffer in silence.
Recognizing distress is a starting point, not a solution, but it’s a crucial entry point for any kind of support. It leads to conversations that reduce stigma and build trust, while also encouraging the person to take the next step, whether that’s talking to a loved one, accessing resources, or seeking professional help.
Support can’t happen without awareness. And awareness starts with paying attention.
When it comes to mental health, distress doesn’t always look the same across individuals, and this is especially true for men. The way some men express emotional pain can be different and more difficult to recognize. This can lead to men suffering in silence, and to those around them, missing the signs that something is off.
Understanding the barriers men face to expressing distress, and the less obvious ways distress might show up, is essential for offering support that’s meaningful, non-judgmental, and effective.
From a young age, many men receive messages, directly or indirectly, that they should:
These expectations can lead men to hide or downplay emotional distress, even when they’re struggling. They may not feel they have “permission” to be open, or they may fear being seen as weak or not “man enough”. As a result, the signs of mental health challenges may be muted or masked, or show up as behaviours that aren’t typically associated with distress (we’ll go over what these signs can look like below).
Research consistently shows that men are less likely than women to seek help for mental health issues or to talk openly about what they’re experiencing. This might be due to:
As a result, even those closest to them may not know how much they’re struggling until things become more severe.
Some men will go to great lengths to “keep it together” on the outside, even while they’re falling apart inside. This can show up as over-working, constantly staying busy, or always “being there” for others (and thus never being there for themselves).
Because of this, distress can be hidden behind what appears to be high-functioning behaviour. Just because a man seems “fine” doesn’t mean he is.
You don’t need a background in mental health to notice when someone’s behaviour or mood has changed. With some knowledge and a bit of confidence, anyone can:
By doing this, you become a bridge to help others move from silence to support, from isolation to connection. You don’t need to have all the answers, you just need to notice, care, and take the first step.