Recognizing Signs of Distress

While every person is different, there are often noticeable changes in behaviour, mood, or appearance which can signal that someone is struggling with their mental health. You don’t need to be an expert to notice these signs. Just being observant, compassionate, and willing to check in can make a real difference.

Why it matters

Men often hide their struggles

Many individuals, especially men, may not feel comfortable talking about their emotions or admitting they’re having a hard time. They may:

Fear being judged or seen as weak
Not recognize that they are struggling
Not have the words to describe what’s going on
Be unsure how to ask for help
Worry about being a burden to others

As a result, they may not speak up until things become overwhelming. That’s why your ability to spot signs of distress can make a powerful difference. You may notice things they’re not ready or able to say.

Noticing shows a man that you care

When you notice that someone’s not quite themselves, and you choose to gently check in, it sends a powerful message: “You matter. I see you. I care.”

This kind of presence can break through isolation, reduce shame, and help someone feel safe enough to talk. Sometimes, just knowing someone is paying attention is enough to shift their outlook or give them the strength to reach out for more help.

It opens the door to further support

Being able to spot signs of distress is critical because it opens the door to support, compassion, and eventually healing. Without this awareness, people in need often continue to suffer in silence.

Recognizing distress is a starting point, not a solution, but it’s a crucial entry point for any kind of support. It leads to conversations that reduce stigma and build trust, while also encouraging the person to take the next step, whether that’s talking to a loved one, accessing resources, or seeking professional help.

Support can’t happen without awareness. And awareness starts with paying attention.

Why it can be difficult to spot distress in men

When it comes to mental health, distress doesn’t always look the same across individuals, and this is especially true for men. The way some men express emotional pain can be different and more difficult to recognize. This can lead to men suffering in silence, and to those around them, missing the signs that something is off.

Understanding the barriers men face to expressing distress, and the less obvious ways distress might show up, is essential for offering support that’s meaningful, non-judgmental, and effective.

Cultural Expectations Around Masculinity

From a young age, many men receive messages, directly or indirectly, that they should:

Be strong and stoic
Handle problems on their own (and not ask for help)
“Man up” or “tough it out”
Avoid showing any vulnerability, or emotions like sadness or fear

These expectations can lead men to hide or downplay emotional distress, even when they’re struggling. They may not feel they have “permission” to be open, or they may fear being seen as weak or not “man enough”. As a result, the signs of mental health challenges may be muted or masked, or show up as behaviours that aren’t typically associated with distress (we’ll go over what these signs can look like below).

Men May Be Less Likely to Talk About Their Feelings

Research consistently shows that men are less likely than women to seek help for mental health issues or to talk openly about what they’re experiencing. This might be due to:

Stigma or shame around mental health difficulties
Fear of being a burden to others
Belief that they should be able to “fix it themselves”
Lack of confidence in their ability to express difficult emotions

As a result, even those closest to them may not know how much they’re struggling until things become more severe.

Men May Mask Their Distress with Regular Functioning

Some men will go to great lengths to “keep it together” on the outside, even while they’re falling apart inside. This can show up as over-working, constantly staying busy, or always “being there” for others (and thus never being there for themselves).

Because of this, distress can be hidden behind what appears to be high-functioning behaviour. Just because a man seems “fine” doesn’t mean he is.

Anyone can do it – you don’t need to be an expert

You don’t need a background in mental health to notice when someone’s behaviour or mood has changed. With some knowledge and a bit of confidence, anyone can:

Recognize signs of distress
Trust their instincts when something feels off
Check in with care and without judgment

By doing this, you become a bridge to help others move from silence to support, from isolation to connection. You don’t need to have all the answers, you just need to notice, care, and take the first step.