Section Four: Exercise

Take some time to write down answers to the following prompts. This will be your self-care plan, something you can refer back to and adjust if needed.

Personal Warning Signs

It’s hard to know what your warning signs for burnout are if you’ve never been in the situation of supporting someone before. However, it can be helpful to think about the signs that tell you that you’re getting overwhelmed or really stressed more generally. (e.g., “I get headaches after heavy conversations” or “I start avoiding phone calls”, or “I feel emotionally numb”). List a few signals, so you can recognize them early.

Boundaries

Think about the different types of boundaries that were discussed above and consider how to set these for yourself. For example, decide when and how often you’re available; remind yourself of the difference between empathizing with someone and taking on someone else’s feelings; understand that you’re a supporter, not a therapist or crisis worker – know when to refer out. Be ready to communicate these boundaries early when engaging someone to provide support. For that, it can be helpful to write out a few scripts that you can use, as having them ready can make it easier to actually say them when needed. Some examples are:

• “I notice we’ve been talking about this for a while. I need to step away to take care of some other things, but let’s check in tomorrow.”
• “I want to support you, but I’m not qualified to help with this issue. Have you considered speaking with a therapist about this?”
• “I can see you’re really struggling right now. I want to help, but I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed by the intensity of this conversation. Can we take a step back?”
• “I know you’re in a tough spot. I care about you, but I’m not able to give you the time you need today. Is there someone else you might reach out to, or can it wait until tomorrow when I can focus better?”

Top 5 Self-Care Activities

List five activities that help you feel better or recharge. Be specific (like “going for a 15-minute jog”, “watching a funny movie”, “meditating for 10 minutes”, “playing guitar”). These are your go-to tools. Next to each, write how often you will try to do it (e.g., daily, weekly, after every support meeting, whenever a stressful event happens).

Support Network

Write down the names of 2-3 people or communities that are your support. These could be friends who you trust deeply, a support group or online forum for peer supporters, or even a therapist.

After writing this plan, keep it somewhere accessible. Revisit it every so often, especially if you start to feel stretched thin. Remember, taking care of your own well-being is what enables you to support others effectively. By following our self-care plan, we ensure that peer support is sustainable and rewarding for us, not just for those we help.