Communication Skills Practice
Starting a conversation about mental health can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to feel awkward or forced.
Starting a conversation about mental health can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to feel awkward or forced.
What a lot of guys often need most is connection, not solutions
Starting a conversation about mental health can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to feel awkward or forced. Peer support works best when we approach others with warmth, curiosity, and a low-pressure attitude. The goal isn’t to force someone to talk, but to create a space where talking feels welcome and safe.
While keeping our active listening and other skills in mind, here is a guide to how you can start a conversation with a man you are concerned about.
Opt for somewhere private and quiet, where the person feels comfortable. Try to ensure there won’t be any disruptions and give ample time for the conversation.
If there are specific reasons for your concern, like frequent absences or social withdrawal, it’s important to address these specifically. For example, you can say:
For a lot of guys, it’s hard to open up to another person, so it’s key to let him know that you’re open to whatever he has to say. You could say:
People need to be reassured of confidentiality. You could say something like:
Everyone’s experience of a mental health challenge is different, so treat people as individuals and focus on the person, not the problem. Use your active listening skills to reflect, clarify, and summarize. Try not to make assumptions or be judgemental, really listen to what he has to say.
Some men may feel more comfortable opening up when conversations happen side-by-side, like during a drive or a workout, rather than face-to-face in a more formal setting. Doing something together can help conversations about mental health feel more natural.
Small changes in phrasing can make a big difference, too. Instead of a direct “Are you okay?”, which might feel confrontational, try something more observational or familiar:
Normalizing these check-ins as part of everyday connection makes support feel more accessible.
Support isn’t just about words – open body language, relaxed eye contact, and allowing for silence all signal that we’re truly listening. Active listening means not rushing to fix things, but reflecting and validating what someone shares:
What people often need most is connection, not solutions.
Not everyone will be ready to talk, and that’s okay. If someone gives short answers or changes the subject, take a step back while still letting them know you’re available:
Keep showing up in low-stakes ways, such as sending a text or checking in occasionally. These small gestures build trust over time and remind someone that they’re not alone.
You’ve noticed your friend, Mike, has been quieter than usual and seems more withdrawn lately.
Choosing the right moment, perhaps during a walk or coffee, you could start by saying:
You: “Hey Mike, I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit quieter these past few weeks. Everything okay?”
⇒ Mike: “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired, that’s all.”
You: “Totally get that. It seems like you’ve been carrying a lot lately with work and everything else. Has anything in particular been weighing on you?”
At this point, Mike might not be ready to continue the conversation and we can instead check in with him again another day. But if he is ready to open up he might say something like:
⇒ Mike: “Yeah, work’s been brutal. I can’t catch a break, even when I’m home, I just zone out or crash.”
You: “That sounds exhausting, like it’s been non-stop pressure.”
⇒ Mike: “I’m just so burnt out. I don’t even feel like myself anymore.”
You: “I can really hear how heavy this has been. Would it help to talk a bit more about what’s been making things feel so overwhelming? Whatever you want to share stays between us, yeah?”
⇒ Mike: “Maybe. I’m not sure where to start.”
You: “No worries, take your time. No pressure either. I’m just here if and when you want to talk.”
⇒ Mike: “Thanks man, that means a lot.”
You: “I’m always here. And if you ever feel like getting outside for a walk or just hanging out, let me know. No expectations.”
Initially, peer support might just be about being there and listening. As trust grows, conversations may become more about exploring options and learning together.
For example, early on your friend or colleague might just need to vent about how stressed they are, and we listen and validate.
Later, once he feels safe and understood, he might say, “I wonder what I should do to manage this better”, and together the two of you can brainstorm coping strategies or share resources. This progression from emotional support to problem-solving should be directed by the man you’re helping.
We don’t jump to problem-solving until (and unless) he indicates he wants to go there.
Section 3 of our Peer Support Course discusses strategies for tapping into supportive resources. Before we delve into that topic, we’ve got a mini quiz to reinforce the knowledge you’ve gained here in Section 2.
Too many men suffer in silence. Become a peer supporter for the men in your life.
In this four-part course (15–20 min each), you’ll learn what effective peer support looks like, how to show up for others, and how to stay grounded while doing so.